


First Snow

by cosmicpeachcloud



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, countdown to christmas, post disbandment, sigh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 11:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16891464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicpeachcloud/pseuds/cosmicpeachcloud
Summary: Countdown to Christmas: Day 6- First Snow





	First Snow

**Author's Note:**

> my day 6 entry for countdown to christmas that was too long for twitter again  
> it's based off EXO's The First Snow (if you guys haven't already realized that I love exo here's another chance lol)  
> i saw a tweet that said 'can someone write a nielwoon au inspired by exo's first snow' so i just HAD to do it  
> i hope you like it :)

**_On this afternoon as the first snow is falling_ **

**_If only I could call you, I’d be so happy_ **

 

Leaving the music hall and entering his personal van, it dawns on Daniel that it’s snowing.

 

“The first snow,” He whispers, raising his face to the city sky.

 

Daniel’s mind runs on two things. Work and _him_. It’s been one year since the curtain fell for the last time on the nation’s boy group but Daniel’s thoughts still revolve around him. The other members too to be honest. There’s not a week that goes by where’s there’s no interaction between the ex members.

It’s just.... specifically _him_ that Daniel’s heart can’t leave behind after all this time.

 

Buckling his seat belt, Daniel tosses his head back into the seat rest. His schedule ended early today for once and he was torn between going back to the dorm and resting or going out. The snow falling from the sky is an indication. A sign. An idea pops into Daniel’s mind but he’s unsure if he wants to pursue it. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up but at the same time he’d been hoping for the same thing every day since he drove away in that van with Jisung.

 

Deciding to bite the bullet, Daniel pulls out his phone and searches for _his_ contact. After all this time one would think Daniel had memorized _his_ phone number but that was not the case. There was something comforting in tapping the name _Gureumie Hyung._

 

Daniel clears his throat and suddenly he’s a bit nervous, biting the corner of his lip. The phone rings five times, each ring knocking Daniel’s anticipation lower and lower until the call goes to voicemail. He smiles sadly, feeling a little bitter that fate would play this card for them, but the feeling doesn’t last long. His phone vibrates in his hand and his heartbeat picks up severely as he sees the caller ID.

 

“ _Hey! I couldn’t find my phone.”_ Sungwoon laughs. The sound of his voice is enough to warm Daniel’s entire body.

 

“It’s okay.” Daniel says, an instant smile springs to his lips. “It’s snowing out.” He lowers the window enough to stick his hand out.

 

“ _I know... I miss you too.”_

 

Sungwoon was always good at interpreting Daniel’s words.

 

**_Turn back the clock)_ **

**_if only I could go back one year_ **

**_(Turn back my heart)_ **

**_would we be different now?_ **

**_Yeah, it’s a stupid thought, but still, what if_ **

 

Silence falls upon them. Daniel keeps the phone pressed to his ear while his other hand flexes against his thigh anxiously.

 

“ _Are you... busy right now?”_ Sungwoon hesitantly asks and Daniel perks up.

 

“No.”

 

“Wanna meet up?” They say simultaneously and it’s the happy giggle that has Daniel sitting up in his seat eagerly.

 

“ _Yeah_.” Sungwoon breathes into the phone and Daniel hears his smile. “ _Same spot?_ ”

 

Daniel turns to the window ready to throw his heart to wherever Sungwoon is. “Same spot.”

 

**_If I met you, would tears rise up?_ **

**_The foolish me wouldn’t be able to say anything_ **

 

The temperature by the Han River is infinitely colder than where Daniel had been and he regrets trying to look handsome by not wearing warmer clothes. In his eagerness to meet Sungwoon at their spot, Daniel had told his manager to drop him off directly at the River even though he knows it takes Sungwoon longer to get there and he’d have to wait for him.

 

Daniel doesn’t care.

 

He sits on the steps in front of the water, crouched over his knees, breathing warm air onto his face behind his face mask. He lowers his black hat to block his eyes from the sharp winds and light snow.

 

He receives a knee to his back and a muffled ‘sorry’ and he glances over his shoulder with cloudy eyes to meet Sungwoon’s gleeful gaze hidden behind a thick scarf and padded long jacket.

 

“Hey.”

 

“I’m cold.” Daniel says in response as his teeth chatter.

 

“Aww.” Sungwoon throws his arms around Daniel’s wide shoulders and rubs his back. Daniel relishes in the skinship, mentally patting himself on the back. “Where’s your parka? Why are you wearing this thin peacoat?”

 

Daniel wants to say something cool but really he’s just a big baby who wanted to look good for his hyung and ended up freezing. No cool way to say that so he just shrugs.

 

“Silly boy.” Sungwoon whispers and lays his head on Daniel’s shoulder for four seconds before removing his arms completely.

 

Daniel misses the warmth.

 

“Let’s get out of the cold.” Sungwoon suggests so they run to the nearest outdoor eatery covered in a plastic tent with the warmth coming from an electric heater.

 

It’s so cold outside that it’s dead inside so they can eat in peace without being discovered. For safety, they sit in the corner with their faces still slightly concealed. Thankfully the older woman who runs the place doesn’t recognize them either.

 

“You would pick the coldest day.” Daniel says teasingly. He rubs his hands together under the table to unfreeze them.

 

“You could have said you were busy...” Sungwoon retaliates as he peruses the menu.

 

“I was already out so it doesn’t really matter.” Daniel says nonchalantly but Sungwoon sees right through him and sends him a wily grin.

 

Sungwoon orders for them and then they’re left with no distractions. It’s not awkward rather a comfortable silence. Sometimes Daniel is just content being there with him, seeing him and having him close by.

 

**_I want to go back to you_ **

 

“So what’s new, Mr. Popularity?”

 

Daniel’s cheeks flush although it’s not visible due to the cold. “Just... the same. Endorsements and such.”

 

Sungwoon hums. “Yeah because endorsing Spirra is not a big deal, right? Just another luxury sports car, huh?”

 

Daniel had been chosen as the model for a luxury car brand and it fit his masculine image so much there was a spark in his popularity again. Not that his fame was dwindling in any way.

 

“The pay is nice.” He answers meekly and Sungwoon laughs.

 

“I bet it is. So, dinner is on you, right?” The older jokes.

 

Daniel turns serious and nods. “Of course, hyung!”

 

Sungwoon shakes his head. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

 

They do some mild catching up, admitting that they follow each other’s moves by looking up their name online. They reminiscence about their time together like they always do because its hard for them to not live in the past when their future is wildly unknown. They talk about upcoming projects which Sungwoon tells Daniel first that he’s going to be in a musical. Daniel almost flips the table in his haste to hug and congratulate him.

 

They don’t eat as much as they want because they’re on strict diets of their own. Sungwoon is shocked to hear that coming from Daniel.

 

“Your abs have abs!”

 

A year hasn’t changed them much. Despite personal growth and career development they’re still the happy go lucky guys who fell together because of their chemistry.

 

With meagerly filled yet satisfied stomachs, Daniel and Sungwoon walk out into the cold night again. Sungwoon secretly paid the bill which Daniel promised to take care of next time.

 

Daniel drops his arm around Sungwoon’s shoulders comfortably, like it is and was always meant to be there. He forgoes the need to use the cold as an excuse and just holds the older close.

 

“Remember when people thought you were my girlfriend?”

 

Sungwoon points at the arm around him. “This is exactly why they thought that.” He mumbles beneath his scarf.

 

Daniel chuckles and they continue to walk by the water. The reflection of the moon on the river is luminescent and he can see their reflection.

 

They do look like a couple.

 

The thought brings Daniel down from his high and dips him into reality again. He glances at Sungwoon, buried in his too big black puffer coat and wishes they could go back in time.

 

**_I walked alone on a street filled with lights,_ **

**_everyone looks happy_ **

**_I used to think you would always be there like air_ **

 

“Stop looking at me like that, Niel.”

 

Daniel frowns. “Can’t I just look at you?”

 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Sungwoon looks up and Daniel is gazing at him like he used to- with want and love and everything they can’t have right now.

 

“I just want to look at you, hyung.” Daniel says brokenly, like a child and not the huge celebrity that he is. “And hug you and kiss you. Like we used to.” He continues. “I miss you so much, hyung.”

 

“Niel, I know, okay? I know.”

 

Sungwoon’s biting tone is colder than the frigid air. It may have come out unintentionally harsh but it still doesn’t sit well with Daniel. He removes his arm and distances himself. His face goes hard and he takes long strides away from Sungwoon as the older trails behind him.

 

Just like that, the feeling of wanting to see Sungwoon most in the world fades away and Daniel’s lonely again.

 

**_A year has already passed but I’m still not over you  
So I talk to myself, “I’m lonely”_ **

 

“Don’t walk away from me.” Sungwoon’s voice is almost carried away by the wind.

 

“Why? You do it all the time.” Daniel says bitterly.

 

“And I always feel like an asshole afterwards and I regret it.”

 

Daniel slows down while his mind races at a million miles per hour. Why does it always come to this? A happily ever after is too much to ask for but Daniel still wants just that.

 

Sungwoon taught him how to love but not how to forget and Daniel doesn’t know which is worse.

 

When their farewell came in December, it came with angry meaningless words and private tears. A fight that took months to clean up and that was only because their friends brought them together. Neither wanted to end what they had but it was just the start of their careers. How could they selfishly throw away everything they had worked so hard for? Even if it was for each other- they couldn’t do it. That Sungwoon and Daniel were able to find each other in the midst of that chaotic time was a beautiful misfortune.

 

“Niel...”

 

The snow that had stopped falling during dinner begins again. Daniel stares out into the road. He forgot that sometimes their meetups weren’t always good times. Some days they fought like the couple they weren’t. Sometimes the memories hurt them more than healed them. Today is one of those days and it breaks Daniel down a little bit more.

 

**_When the snow falls, would my_ **

**_bruised heart get covered whitely?_ **

 

“I know how you feel.” Sungwoon says and this time there’s no smile to accompany his words, no warm laughter. “I feel the exact same way. There’s just nothing we can do about it.”

 

Their arguments always end the same. Never reaching a conclusion because there isn’t one that gives them the ending they want. At least not now.

 

Daniel walks over to the nearest bench and sits, not minding that the seat is partially wet. Sungwoon sits so close their thighs, legs and shoes touch. They watch the light snow shower in silence. This time, however, the silence is loud.

 

**_It’s so strange, just thinking of you_ **

 

Daniel has no energy to fight, cry, profess his love- nothing. From his peripheral he can see Sungwoon chewing his bottom lip away. Another night Daniel would have kissed the worry out of him but not today.

 

The timing isn’t right. But when will it ever be?

 

“Daniel, I have to go.” Sungwoon announces after a long bout of thought provoking silence. Daniel can feel him staring at him but he just can’t make himself look.

 

Sungwoon bites his lip again.

 

He hesitates but ultimately presses a gentle kiss into Daniel’s cheek. A gesture that Daniel understands means that the elder is truly sorry. He musters a “have a good week” before Sungwoon walks away from him but it’s void of positive energy. 

 

Daniel stays there for another twenty minutes and then asks his manager to pick him up. In the back of the car, Daniel lowers the window. He watches the snow blow around the city carelessly and wonders if this first snow is their last.

 

**_That Christmas, I kept seeing you  
get farther away_ **


End file.
